End The Pain

Those Pesky Side Effects

All meds, whether man made or natural, have side effects. And,if anybody is going to get them ... it's me.

So, two weeks ago I convinced my GP to let me try out Effexor XR (in another post Ill explain why I believed this could make a difference). Within 2 days, YES 2 days, I felt no Fibro pain and had lots of energy.

Within 5 days I knew I had TOO much energy ... hypomania here I come! In fact, people with Bipolar Affective Disorder are at risk for having their mania triggered by Effexor. Had to know it would happen to me. STRIKE ONE!

So, I had my GP issue a new prescription which cut the dosage in half.

Within 7 days, of starting Effexor, I knew I would have to stop taking it.

Why?

Side effects.

Imagine your skin feels like it's on fire. Imagine it's so dry the Sahara looks like a steamy tropical jungle by comparison. Imagine that no matter how much lotion you slather on your body: the burning hot, needle itch won't go away.

Now imagine at the same time that no matter how exhausted you are you can't turn your brain off ... you can't sleep ... for days.

Side effects.

On Monday this week, I had been itching and desperately trying to avoid scratching my whole body for 4 days. I suspected it was a side effect but there was nothing in the drug warnings that the drug store included with the perscription. So, in a moment of genius, I decided to call the pharmacist. She suspected the same as I did, but wasn't certain because I didn't have a rash. I was P'd when I hung up, went to bed, and finally went to sleep 3 hours later.

When I got up in the morning there was a message on the voice mail from the pharmacist. She had done some research. SURE ENOUGH, 4% of people who take Effexor suffer from vasodilation which causes a hot, dry, itchy feeling. STRIKE TWO!

Then later on Tuesday I decided to relook at Effexor's side effects. Buried in a long list was this entry "trouble sleeping." Bingo! STRIKE THREE.

So, I decided to stop taking Effexor. But, turns out that's easier said than done.

Next post: The joys of withdrawal!

Fibromyalgia: Tired & Wired

Got that old ‘tired and wired’ feeling this morning because I woke at 1:00 a.m. and could not get back to sleep.

I am thinking that I may need to drop my dosage of Effexor. But, first I am going to cut out doing my light therapy.

Man my brain is racing but my body is tired. Used to be that I could go for days on only 3 hours of sleep. Now the old body lets me know right away just how unhappy it is.

That racy brain, tired body feeling is crazy making. It must be like the mixed moods of Bipolar Affective Disorder: manic and depressed at the same time! Who hoo!

It was nice to walk back from the service station with the temperature at 0 Celsius (32 F). But, man some of the sidewalks are icy. Homeowners who don’t shovel their sidewalks should be spanked at the very least. I had to cross the street to find an ice free sidewalk and nearly got run over by some yahoo speeding. People in this city are in too much of a hurry.

The challenge today will be to figure out how to stay focused; and to actually get something done.

I’m trying the timer method: 30 minutes to write and post this, for example. And, ignoring the email arrived signals Gmail sends. Turning the radio off to reduce stimulation. Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath to regain focus. Stretching my neck and upper arms every few minutes when I notice them, which is usually when my eyes are closed.

Wow. This only took 13 minutes to write. Now to post it and then on to private reflections.

A Way To Work WITH FIbromyalgia?

After 9 months I was finally able to write a new newsletter today.  YEAH!!!

That happy event took place because of, at least, three things.

1. Less pain
2. More energy (mainly psychic although the physical IS important)
3. A new strategy

The first two things are pretty obvious. So, I want to focus on the new writing strategy.

But, before I do that I just want to make the observation that it took 9 months to come up with this idea. That gives you some idea of how stupid-making Fibromyalgia can be. My brain was like a V8 firing on 2 cylinders. Couple that with very little 'up' time and you have a recipe for not getting much accomplished.

Okay, back to the strategy.

The germ of the idea came to me the other day when I was thinking about Twitter. You can read about the Twitter concept here. Twitter limits Tweets (your message to the Twitterverse) to 140 characters.

I've been yearning to write for months. Suddenly when thinking about Twitter I had an idea: What if I set a limit for myself of writing a 140 word newsletter? Then, today, I thought: What if I aim to write AND publish it in an hour?

So, I gave it a shot! And, IT WORKED!

I'm so excited!!

And, I'm going to try the strategy again by applying the principle to writing my blog posts.

In a Funny Space

I'm in a funny space.

But then that's how it often is during the swings between pain and no pain.

The last two days have been horrendously painful, as they often seem to be after my acupuncture treatment.

Now the pain is dropping and as I've dropped my pain-freed-up brain starts going ADD-like.

I want to write but what should I write.

Seem to have written a lot about the negatives of this condition ... but then lately there's been a lot of pain. But, part of my brain is prodding to be positive and write positive. Must be my Inner Polly Anna nagging. But, I can't think of anything postive at the moment.

My coach and I talked about this the other day. How fast we, especially I, can judge the experience rather than just experiencing the experience. I loved what she said (paraphrase), "Be in the swing. It just is!" I think that's true but man it IS tough to do.

However, I will focus on the positive. So, what's one positive thing about this illness?

Well. I've found out who my real "friends" are. You know the ones who stick with you through thick and thin. And, me canceling lunch 8 times because of last minute pain flare ups. And, postponing coaching sessions. And, just being so bloody unpredictable.

So thanks Brenda Collins, Alex Brown, Steve S., Tafline Lachmuth, Todd Porter, Joyce Tutty, Ruth Lachmuth, Ed Lachmuth, Lynn Lambert, Barry Morris, Trisha Cupra, James Huggins, Jenifer Hofmann, Clarence Thomson, Matt Lachmuth, and all the folks from the Tent whose names I can't remember at the moment, for your support, advice, encouragement, and understanding.

Icarus Redux

It is frustrating as hell to feel so good yesterday and in so much pain today.

Yesterday I felt ALIVE, free, my brain was full of energy, ideas. I felt silly and happy, amorous and flirty.

Now the pain is back. I can barely type because my upper arms are being crushed. I have those pains in my hips bones like huge knives have been thrust into them. It's hard to sit because my ass is so sore. 

Jennifer and I were talking yesterday about the Gift of Pain and she said something like, “some days we can accept the Gift and other days we can’t!”

Amen! I’m having real trouble today with my Gift.