End The Pain

Those Pesky Side Effects

All meds, whether man made or natural, have side effects. And,if anybody is going to get them ... it's me.

So, two weeks ago I convinced my GP to let me try out Effexor XR (in another post Ill explain why I believed this could make a difference). Within 2 days, YES 2 days, I felt no Fibro pain and had lots of energy.

Within 5 days I knew I had TOO much energy ... hypomania here I come! In fact, people with Bipolar Affective Disorder are at risk for having their mania triggered by Effexor. Had to know it would happen to me. STRIKE ONE!

So, I had my GP issue a new prescription which cut the dosage in half.

Within 7 days, of starting Effexor, I knew I would have to stop taking it.

Why?

Side effects.

Imagine your skin feels like it's on fire. Imagine it's so dry the Sahara looks like a steamy tropical jungle by comparison. Imagine that no matter how much lotion you slather on your body: the burning hot, needle itch won't go away.

Now imagine at the same time that no matter how exhausted you are you can't turn your brain off ... you can't sleep ... for days.

Side effects.

On Monday this week, I had been itching and desperately trying to avoid scratching my whole body for 4 days. I suspected it was a side effect but there was nothing in the drug warnings that the drug store included with the perscription. So, in a moment of genius, I decided to call the pharmacist. She suspected the same as I did, but wasn't certain because I didn't have a rash. I was P'd when I hung up, went to bed, and finally went to sleep 3 hours later.

When I got up in the morning there was a message on the voice mail from the pharmacist. She had done some research. SURE ENOUGH, 4% of people who take Effexor suffer from vasodilation which causes a hot, dry, itchy feeling. STRIKE TWO!

Then later on Tuesday I decided to relook at Effexor's side effects. Buried in a long list was this entry "trouble sleeping." Bingo! STRIKE THREE.

So, I decided to stop taking Effexor. But, turns out that's easier said than done.

Next post: The joys of withdrawal!

Fibromyalgia: Tired & Wired

Got that old ‘tired and wired’ feeling this morning because I woke at 1:00 a.m. and could not get back to sleep.

I am thinking that I may need to drop my dosage of Effexor. But, first I am going to cut out doing my light therapy.

Man my brain is racing but my body is tired. Used to be that I could go for days on only 3 hours of sleep. Now the old body lets me know right away just how unhappy it is.

That racy brain, tired body feeling is crazy making. It must be like the mixed moods of Bipolar Affective Disorder: manic and depressed at the same time! Who hoo!

It was nice to walk back from the service station with the temperature at 0 Celsius (32 F). But, man some of the sidewalks are icy. Homeowners who don’t shovel their sidewalks should be spanked at the very least. I had to cross the street to find an ice free sidewalk and nearly got run over by some yahoo speeding. People in this city are in too much of a hurry.

The challenge today will be to figure out how to stay focused; and to actually get something done.

I’m trying the timer method: 30 minutes to write and post this, for example. And, ignoring the email arrived signals Gmail sends. Turning the radio off to reduce stimulation. Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath to regain focus. Stretching my neck and upper arms every few minutes when I notice them, which is usually when my eyes are closed.

Wow. This only took 13 minutes to write. Now to post it and then on to private reflections.

A Way To Work WITH FIbromyalgia?

After 9 months I was finally able to write a new newsletter today.  YEAH!!!

That happy event took place because of, at least, three things.

1. Less pain
2. More energy (mainly psychic although the physical IS important)
3. A new strategy

The first two things are pretty obvious. So, I want to focus on the new writing strategy.

But, before I do that I just want to make the observation that it took 9 months to come up with this idea. That gives you some idea of how stupid-making Fibromyalgia can be. My brain was like a V8 firing on 2 cylinders. Couple that with very little 'up' time and you have a recipe for not getting much accomplished.

Okay, back to the strategy.

The germ of the idea came to me the other day when I was thinking about Twitter. You can read about the Twitter concept here. Twitter limits Tweets (your message to the Twitterverse) to 140 characters.

I've been yearning to write for months. Suddenly when thinking about Twitter I had an idea: What if I set a limit for myself of writing a 140 word newsletter? Then, today, I thought: What if I aim to write AND publish it in an hour?

So, I gave it a shot! And, IT WORKED!

I'm so excited!!

And, I'm going to try the strategy again by applying the principle to writing my blog posts.

Icarus Redux

It is frustrating as hell to feel so good yesterday and in so much pain today.

Yesterday I felt ALIVE, free, my brain was full of energy, ideas. I felt silly and happy, amorous and flirty.

Now the pain is back. I can barely type because my upper arms are being crushed. I have those pains in my hips bones like huge knives have been thrust into them. It's hard to sit because my ass is so sore. 

Jennifer and I were talking yesterday about the Gift of Pain and she said something like, “some days we can accept the Gift and other days we can’t!”

Amen! I’m having real trouble today with my Gift.

The Mice Are Scampering

I am pain free today ... YEAH!

But, after having been in severe pain for 4 days, the thoughts in my brain are scampering like mice chased by a cat on acid!

Oooh! So many ideas! So many things I could do!

Oooh! I'm distracted and gotta go.

I Want To Flee

A poem 'inspired' by Fibromyalgia (and wind) ...

I Want To Flee

 I want

To flee

Into the empty pages

Of the night.

 The pain

Crushes me

And I cannot

Resist.

 

The pain owns

My soul,

And me

And wants

To be repaid

In currency

I seem to not have.

 

So, in agony

I sit puzzling,

Hoping,

Seeking escape

But

Know not

The path,

The means,

Nor it seems

Much else.

 

What’s best

For us?

 

I still have

No fucking

Clue.

©2009 Lyle T. Lachmuth All Rights Reserved.

Blowin' In The Wind

The pain has been bitchin' awful since midnight.

That's when the Chinook blew in. Winds right now are 46 kph but have been as high as 70 kph.

There is no further doubt in my mind that Chinooks trigger the Fibro pain. The question though is: is it the wind or the pressure shift? I know from previous personal research that rapid &/or severe pressure shifts trigger Fibro. But, once the initial pressure shift is gone why does the pain continue? Not sure but ...

The more important question is what the hell do I do about it?

The acupuncture doesn't help. The hot soaks in Epsom Salts don't help. The 5HTP doesn't help.

Well, I could move to somewhere calmer. Yeah right! That doesn't seem very feasible right now. Though this place has Chinooks, it also is one of the sunniest places in Canada. And, god knows I need the sun for my Seasonal Affective Disorder. Feels like a shitty choice.

What I am thankful for is that I don't live in hurricane country. I can only imagine what I'd be like in that kind of wind. I'd probably explode from the pain.

The Hardest Thing About Pain

Some days I think it was easier when I was in pain every day.

Bone grinding pain every day sucks no question. But, it's harder for me constantly shifting from pain to no pain and back to pain again.

Take today for instance. (PLEASE take it!)

My pain went away yesterday about 11 in the morning. And, I had a good afternoon. Even got some small changes made to my website.

Then I woke up this morning feeling like I'd been run over by a semi. Achy all over and tired as sin.

And, it's that shifting from no pain to pain that I find immensely discouraging; particularly since these days it seems to be happening every other day. I don't know if the pain feels worse because I'd gotten my hopes up a teeny tiny bit or because it really is worse.

Then of course my rational scientific brain. or at least the part of my brain that still is, kicks in and tries to figure out THE REASON. Why pain today and not yesterday? What did I do wrong? What didn't I do that I 'should' have?

It's probably the damn weather: it's Chinooking again. Massive pressure shifts and a 20 degree F temperature shift from yesterday. And, if it IS that what the heck can I do about it? Move? Hardly. So, it's ride it out -- AGAIN!

Some Things Don't Always Work

This will be quick as I've been in major pain all day.

Today illustrates one of those 'evil' principles of dealing with Fibro. Namely, what helped before may not help today.

A lot of times if I soak in a very hot bath (with Epsom salts); that soaking seems to trigger an end to the pain.

Not today though. In fact, I had two good long hot soaks and the pain has stayed steady at the top of the pain meter.

And, that's just one of the frustrating things about this condition ... never knowing if a remedy will work or not. So, I just have to give it a try and see what happens.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'll just flop in the recliner and distract myself with a movie.

The Worst Thing About Fibromyalgia

Let me say first of all that any posts here by me reflect my experience and my opinions. Fibromyalgia is a multisymptom condition and not everybody has the same symptoms and certainly not to the same degree. So, I will talk about what I've experienced, what I've tried, what's worked, and what hasn't. I do not mean to infer that others experience the same symptoms as I. Nor, sadly, will they experience relief from the same things I have; just as I have not experienced relief from what has brought other succor.

What's the worst thing about Fibromyalgia?

Can you say P A I N?

Here's a way for you to get a glimmer of the pain experienced by Fibromites. With your dominant hand reach over to your opposite arm. Grasp your arm about a hand's width above your wrist's flex point. Now squeeze as hard as you can. Come on you can squeeze harder. Hurts doesn't it.

The pain you are experiencing is probably about a tenth the severity experienced by me on a bad day. Trust me, every time I have pain it IS a bad day ... the pain is rarely less than top scale severe.

Now imagine having pain of that degree from the tips of your tops to the top of your butt. And, from the tips of your fingers to the tops of your shoulders. 

Got that picture in mind. Okay, now imagine having that all over pain, every waking hour of every day for weeks on end.

Not pretty is it?

In fact it sucks. It sucks because the pain keeps you from sleeping. And, sleep is what you need to repair your body and mind. It sucks, because the pain exhausts you. So, that one those rare days or hours when you have no pain, you also have little energy: mental or physical.

Here's another way to understand the degree of pain.

A few months ago I wound up in the Emergency department of the hospital because of pain in my lower right quandrant and an elevated white cell count. The doctor in the walk in clinic thought I might have appendicitis. Many hours later a CT scan showed that my problem was a kidney stone. Now I was told by a woman in emergency, who was also suffering from a kidney stone, that having a kidney stone was comparable to labour (neither one of us were able to give birth to our stones because they were too big). As severe as the pain from the kidney stone was, it was so much less than the pain from my Fibro. It was like a mild sunburn compared to a third degree burn.

A friend of mine who suffered from Fibro committed suicide because she couldn't stand the pain. I don't blame her one bit.

Chronic pain is a bitch!